Ethics of Donor Conception conference, NYC, May 3-4, 2019

Thank you to Professor J. David Velleman and the Center for Bioethics at NYU for the vision in creating and the skilled facilitation of an amazing conference.  It was a meeting of the minds of academics, including bioethicists, philosophers and attorneys, and a large group of donor conceived people.

First of all, terminology.  In the donor conception world, there isn't standard terminology for all of the relationships and processes.  Terminology is difficult and evolving.  The term "donor" is definitely a misnomer.  Gametes (sperm and eggs) are not donated.  They are provided for a fee, the person is paid for their gametes, it is a transaction.  One amazing young man at the conference calls himself "transactionally conceived".  There was agreement that "provider conceived" was a more accurate term than "donor conceived".  I will use both terms, to honor the new, more accurate term and because people understand at this point the term donor.  It's an evolution.

Also, we provider conceived people are often referred to as "the babies" or children.  Please don't do that.  We are people, of all ages, some of us senior citizens.  It is so demeaning to be called a child.  I use the term "offspring", but that isn't ideal either.  It's rather cold.  If anyone is aware of a better term for those of us conceived from provider gametes, please let me know.

It is a great shift that there is more attention in the academic world to understanding the implications of gamete provider conception, for all parties, offspring, families, providers and those that facilitate the donor process.  We appreciate those that have pioneered research about donor conception, including Ken Daniels, Eric Blyth, Amanda Turner, Rona Achilles.  Hopefully, there will be a surge of exploration into the effects of gamete "donation".  There is certainly a surge in public media now, especially articles about the large groups of half-siblings created and doctors providing their own sperm.

What is sometimes missing in the academic explorations, however, is the lived experience of those of us created from provided gametes.  That was the magic of the Ethics of DC conference this past week...bringing together those that study donor conception and those that live it.  In addition to the academic presentations, Erin Jackson, founder of "We Are Donor Conceived" on Facebook, presented the experience of donor conceived people.  Thank you, Erin for bringing so many of us together and advocating for change.  During the conference, there was an amazing amount of dialogue and discussion, and an honest attempt to understand the true, real implications of this practice on real human beings, we donor conceived.  Thank you for the opportunity for DC people to share their stories and experience, and the effort to understand us.

The vital consensus of those at the Ethics of Donor Conception conference was that secrecy and anonymity in gamete provider conception is NOT ethical.  There was also general consensus that large numbers of offspring from a provider creates complicated and burdensome relationships, and is not ethical.